Sondage

Cela fait maintenant un mois tout pile que Jinder Mahal est champion de la WWE. Selon vous::

Le travail de vos rêves

Je refuserais d’être membre d’un club qui m’accepterait pour membre.

Groucho Marx

 

Vous êtes dynamique, doté d’excellentes qualités rédactionnelles, passionné par cet extraordinaire instrument narratif qu’est le catch, désireux de partager votre vision avec un large cercle de lecteurs et porté sur les blagues à base de flatulences? Et si vous rejoigniez notre sympathique équipe?

 

 

Et en tant que rookies, vous allez commencer par nous faire un café.

 

 

Proposition de poste à haute responsabilité dans une entreprise en plein essor

 

 

Les Cahiers du Catch, leader sur le marché francophone de l’analyse catchesque émaillée de blagues de corps de garde, est un site participatif au chiffre d’affaires de zéro euro né en janvier 2009 et ayant mis en ligne depuis sa création quelque 2000 articles. Fort aujourd’hui d’une équipe d’une trentaine de rédacteurs plus ou moins sobres, réguliers et humains, le site cherche à accroître son emprise sur l’univers en recrutant un ou plusieurs nouveaux talents afin d’assurer le suivi systématique des émissions hebdomadaires de la WWE et de nfaire plein d’autres conneries.

 

Type de contrat

Esclavage bénévole

 

Durée du contrat

Jusqu’à ce que la mort nous sépare

 

Lieu

DTC (devant ton computer)

 

Missions

Se charger, au rythme qui vous chante, de rédiger des « nalyses » de Raw, Smackdown et ppv de la WWE, conformément à la CHARTE SACRÉE DES CDC. Accessoirement, participer à la cuisine interne du site. Et si le cœur vous en dit, publier des news, des papiers personnels, tout ce qui vous chante à condition que ça ait un rapport plus ou moins réel avec le catch.

 

Avantages

Être lu par plusieurs centaines, voire plusieurs milliers de personnes. Être commenté par six ou sept. Voire plus, parfois!

 

Qualifications requises

Une bonne plume, un niveau correct de français, un suivi régulier du catch actuel, une capacité à tenir un délai raisonnable lorsqu’on s’est engagé à fournir une nalyse (celles de Raw doivent en principe paraître au plus tard le vendredi suivant, celles de Smackdown le lundi suivant).

 

Obligations concernant le fond de vos propos

Aucune.

 

 

Si ce poste vous intéresse, veuillez envoyer deux mots, sans CV (on s’en fout de votre CV, le seul fait que vous soyez capable d’envoyer un mail parle en votre faveur), aux adresses suivantes : laredac@lescahiersducatch.com ou axl@lescahiersducatch.com

 

 

Entrez dans la matrice!

 

Candidatures

C'est cool, on reçoit tout plein de candidatures. On va vous répondre très vite, promis. Et que tous ceux que ça démange d'écrire pour le site de temps à autres n'hésitent surtout pas à franchir le pas. Plus on est de gueudins, plus on lole. Et plus on se donne les moyens de faire avancer les grands projets que nous avons à court terme. Merci à tous!

Moi je le fais

En plus j'ai une maigre experience dans l'esclavagisme sur les CdC avec un actif de 1 article ( Londres 2013 ) et une vignette publiée
Mon experience parle clairement pour moi

ça dépend ?

On peut faire 50 lignes sur un extincteur apparu trop tôt ou une VF qui coupe l'ambiance?

VF

Et tu voudrais faire comment une VF qui coupe pas l'ambiance (en plus elle ne l'a coupe pas mais l'atténue) ?

WrestleMania

Je faisais référence aux commentaires en direct de mania.

VF

C'est le même principe ! ('fin je crois)

mais ils étaient ringside...

:'( sniiiif

On veut savoir quel est le

On veut savoir quel est le salaire de base !!!

salaire

tu commences à zéro, mais tu peux rapidement tripler ton salaire de base.

Salaire de la peur

En revanche, si y a trop de fautes, tu dois payer pour être publié. Sounds fair.

What's up?



31 janvier

Il était bien cool, ce Rumble, non? Venez dire dans les comms de la nalyse ce que vous en avez pensé, et n'oubliez pas que les vignettes attendent vos légendes sagaces ici.

Connexion utilisateur

Commentaires récents

Les Vignettes des Cahiers


Merde, j’ai toujours été nul au Puissance 4.


Retrouvez ici toutes nos vignettes !


Quotes of the Cahiers

"I'm gonna leave him in a pile of blood, and urine and vomit."
Brock Lesnar à propos de John Cena

"At 9 am Eastern time tomorrow, the WWE Network goes live. But the problem is you’re all gonna be so overwhelmed by the incredible content available, you won’t be able to turn it off. Adults will lose their jobs and kids will be expelled from schools for lack of attendance. In fact, you’re gonna be so mesmerized by the incredible content of the WWE Network that you won’t even have time to remove the garbage from your houses. Your places are gonna start to stink, rats will move in, and they’re gonna look like bigger pigsties than they already do. Ultimately, the government is gonna come along and condemn your homes and you will all be left homeless defending yourself on the street. Thank you very much."
Bad News Barrett

"He’s twisting him so much his twin brother is getting dizzy !"
JBL commentant un Giant Swing d'Antonio Cesaro sur l'un des frères Uso.

"I think I'm a little too old for you Jerry. I'm 26, I know you like them younger."
AJ Lee, à Raw, s'adressant à Jerry Lawler

"It looks like James Storm has had more partners than Taylor Swift lately, he should probably get tested"
Bad Influence

"Having watched that… I regret the doctors in Canada saving my life.”
Jerry Lawler, après le segment où Mae Young a accouché d'Hornswoggle.

"What's running through John Cena's mind? I don't give a crap what's running through his mind. What's more important is what's running down his leg."
Brock Lesnar

"Yes. Stop sending dumb tweets like this one. RT: @Kid_Antrim Any advice for me?"
Paul Heyman, sur Twitter

"With Kofi Kingston as the Intercontinental Champion, the bar has been lowered. And when the bar’s been lowered, mediocrity becomes acceptable. And when mediocrity becomes acceptable, society crumbles. And when society crumbles, civilization will end as we know it.”
Le Miz, Hell in a Cell

"Can you figure that? She's not able to get a date! I mean, even Natalya is able to get a date!"
Eve à propos de Layla

"I understand that you barbaric buffoons could easily eviscerate me and dispose of me like common trash. However, if you do so, I will not be a victim. I will be a martyr. A martyr for anyone who appreciates a sophisticated mind."
Damien Sandow, à DX.

"Apparently, giants can win the Super Bowl, but not matches at WrestleMania. You’re like ‘The Reverse Undertaker’. Who are you going to lose to this year? The boxer or the sumo wrestler?”"
Cody Rhodes au Big Show

"The Kliq is back, which is kind of ironic because "click" is the noise the audience's remote control makes every time Kevin Nash pops up on their TV screen."
CM Punk

"It's a conspiracy! C... O... N.... Spiracy!"
R-Truth

"I understand that... that Vince McMahon's gonna make money despite himself... he's a millionaire who should be a billionaire... you know why he's not a billionaire? It's because he surrounds himself with glad-handing nonsensical yes-men like John Laurinaitis, who's gonna tell him everything he wants to hear... and I'd like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon is dead, but the fact is it's gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family."
CM Punk

"These people are not Jimmies. They are the greatest fans in the world!"
John Cena, à R-Truth qui venait de qualifier le public de Raw de "Little Jimmies".

"Can you imagine if Sheamus wins this thing? I mean, the international ramifications, I mean the buyrate, I’m talking about the demographic change and everything? If Sheamus wins this match, it will be huge, not only for him but for the Smackdown brand."
Booker T., pendant un Title Match opposant le champion poids lourds Randy Orton à Sheamus.

"When I’m done with him, he’s gonna have barbecue sauce fueling out from his belly button like a geyser."
Michael Cole à propos de Jim Ross

"The WWE has gone from the powerful "Austin 3:16" to the dominant and iconic "can you smell what the Rock is cookin?"... all the way to "You can't see me"? You can't see me, what are you, playing peek-a-boo? Believe me, we all can see you. A blindfolded, sleeping, stuck in the basement Stevie Wonder can see your monkey ass. How in the hell do you think we can miss you come out here with your bright ass purple shirt, before that bright green shirt, bright orange shirt like a big fat bowl of Fruity Pebbles?"
The Rock à John Cena

"Jerry Lawler has forgotten more about wrestling than the Miz has ever known."
CM Punk

"If anyone says you can't do something, if anyone says you can't live your dream... Believe them, because you can't."
The Miz

"William Regal did the real work with this young man. Shawn Michaels took $3000 from him, that's all he ever did."
CM Punk à propos de la formation de Daniel Bryan

"I would RKO my own grandmother if it meant keeping this title. And then I'd RKO YOUR grandmother just to see the look on her face."
Randy Orton, à Sheamus

Virgil: - Ted, what are you going to do for protection?
Ted DiBiase, jetant un coup d'oeil à Maryse: - Go to the drugstore.

"Her teeth are going to be like the Ten Commendments after this match: all broken."
Alicia Fox, à propos d'Eve Torres

"Layla is not married. She deserves a good husband. I should marry her before she meets him."
Jerry Lawler

"If I suck, why would a Perry deli – the top Perry deli – name their top-selling sandwich after me? It's called the Swaggie. It smells like freedom."
Jack Swagger

"I realize how much of a starmaking performance I had in McGruber. The reviews have been off the charts. As a matter of fact, they are speaking of a possible early Oscar nomination."
Chris Jericho

"I'm sure your mom's uterus is awesome."
Vicki StElmo à Vladimir Kozlov

"If we were in your era, I'd put a Sharpshooter on you faster than you can put a pair of cheap sunglasses on an ugly kid."
The Miz, à Bret Hart.

"When I look at you I don't see fans. I don't even see people. I see money, money, money, money. Dollar signs, dollar signs, dollar signs, dollar signs. With some of you, a lot of dollar signs because I see a lot of fat people in the audience and I know you paid for two seats. Thank you very much!"
Batista à Raw.

"We are real women with the body that God created us with."
Mickie James, la femme aux implants mammaires en silicone qui explosent dans le ring.

Don Johnson: "This is a mistake!"
The Miz: "Mistake? No. Pink shirts and white suits, that is a mistake."

"One nation under Punk, undivisible, with integrity and sobriety for all!"
CM Punk

Michael Cole: "Our guest at ringside, Marisse. Welcome."
Maryse: "Oh my god, Michael Cole, you vintage nerd. You can't even say my name right. I should punish you and just give you my French kiss."

"If I see you in my match tonight, I'm gonna tear your intestins out and jump rope with it. And that's not all. I'm gonna take my two fingers, I'm gonna dig up your nosedrills and I'll rip your brain out. And I'm gonna put it in a newspaper and I'm gonna smash it against a window."
Mike Tyson à Hornswoggle

Ted DiBiase: "My movie, the Marine II, is superior to the original Marine."
Cody Rhodes: "Ted, my fifth grade graduation video is superior to the original Marine."

"I'm on Raw, you're on Smackdown... Long distance relationships don't work, Chris."
Big Show

Jerry Lawler, après une promo de Maryse où elle a qualifié Melina de "petite poupée": "Did she just say poupée? Do you know what that means in French?"
Michael Cole: "What?"
Jerry Lawler: "I... I can't say it!"

"I respect her. There are a lot of things that she does that I couldn't do, being the size that she is."
Michelle McCool à propos de Mickie James.

"We have MVP on the stage, and PMS in the ring."
Goldust, à propos des divas assemblées dans le ring pendant les Slammy Awards 2009.

"It was kind of like the 300 at the battle of Thermopylae, but with better abs".
John Morrison à propos de la fin de son match à Survivor Series, quand il s'est retrouvé à 1 contre 3.

"Hi, I'm John Morrison, and one time I drove my Lexus 700 miles on a tank full of my own urine."
John Morrison

"I always said if I could put my brain in Andrew’s body he’d be a 20-time world champ."
Edge à propos de Andrew "Test" Martin