1er février

L'un des nôtres s'est discrètement pointé au Royal Rumble, et il nous raconte sa journée, en toute simplicité.
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- J'étais tranquillement dans ma cabine de douche quand la femme de chambre est entrée et m'a violé.
- Merci pour votre témoignage, M. Strauss-Kahn.


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"The Kliq is back, which is kind of ironic because "click" is the noise the
audience's remote control makes every time Kevin Nash pops up on their TV
screen."
CM Punk


"It's a conspiracy! C... O... N.... Spiracy!"
R-Truth


"I understand that... that Vince McMahon's gonna make money despite himself... he's a millionaire who should be a billionaire... you know why he's not a billionaire? It's because he surrounds himself with glad-handing nonsensical yes-men like John Laurinaitis, who's gonna tell him everything he wants to hear... and I'd like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon is dead, but the fact is it's gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family."
CM Punk à Raw


"These people are not Jimmies. They are the greatest fans in the world!"
John Cena, à R-Truth qui venait de qualifier le public de Raw de "Little Jimmies".


"Can you imagine if Sheamus wins this thing? I mean, the international ramifications, I mean the buyrate, I’m talking about the demographic change and everything? If Sheamus wins this match, it will be huge, not only for him but for the Smackdown brand."
Booker T., pendant un Title Match opposant le champion poids lourds Randy Orton à Sheamus.


"When I’m done with him, he’s gonna have barbecue sauce fueling out from his belly button like a geyser."
Michael Cole à propos de Jim Ross


"The WWE has gone from the powerful "Austin 3:16" to the dominant and iconic "can you smell what the Rock is cookin?"... all the way to "You can't see me"? You can't see me, what are you, playing peek-a-boo? Believe me, we all can see you. A blindfolded, sleeping, stuck in the basement Stevie Wonder can see your monkey ass. How in the hell do you think we can miss you come out here with your bright ass purple shirt, before that bright green shirt, bright orange shirt like a big fat bowl of Fruity Pebbles?"
The Rock à John Cena


"Jerry Lawler has forgotten more about wrestling than the Miz has ever known."
CM Punk


"If anyone says you can't do something, if anyone says you can't live your dream... Believe them, because you can't."
The Miz


"William Regal did the real work with this young man. Shawn Michaels took $3000 from him, that's all he ever did."
CM Punk à propos de la formation de Daniel Bryan


"I would RKO my own grandmother if it meant keeping this title. And then I'd RKO YOUR grandmother just to see the look on her face."
Randy Orton, à Sheamus


Virgil: - Ted, what are you going to do for protection?
Ted DiBiase, jetant un coup d'oeil à Maryse - Go to the drugstore.


"Her teeth are going to be like the Ten Commendments after this match: all broken."
Alicia Fox, à propos d'Eve Torres


"Layla is not married. She deserves a good husband. I should marry her before she meets him."
Jerry Lawler


"If I suck, why would a Perry deli – the top Perry deli – name their top-selling sandwich after me? It's called the Swaggie. It smells like freedom."
Jack Swagger


"I realize how much of a starmaking performance I had in McGruber. The reviews have been off the charts. As a matter of fact, they are speaking of a possible early Oscar nomination."
Chris Jericho


"I'm sure your mom's uterus is awesome."
Vicki StElmo à Vladimir Kozlov


"If we were in your era, I'd put a Sharpshooter on you faster than you can put a pair of cheap sunglasses on an ugly kid."
The Miz, à Bret Hart.


"When I look at you I don't see fans. I don't even see people. I see money, money, money, money. Dollar signs, dollar signs, dollar signs, dollar signs. With some of you, a lot of dollar signs because I see a lot of fat people in the audience and I know you paid for two seats. Thank you very much!"
Batista à Raw.


"We are real women with the body that God created us with."
Mickie James, la femme aux implants mammaires en silicone qui explosent dans le ring.


Don Johnson: "This is a mistake!"
The Miz: "Mistake? No. Pink shirts and white suits, that is a mistake."


"One nation under Punk, undivisible, with integrity and sobriety for all!"
CM Punk


Michael Cole: "Our guest at ringside, Marisse. Welcome."
Maryse: "Oh my god, Michael Cole, you vintage nerd. You can't even say my name right. I should punish you and just give you my French kiss."


"If I see you in my match tonight, I'm gonna tear your intestins out and jump rope with it. And that's not all. I'm gonna take my two fingers, I'm gonna dig up your nosedrills and I'll rip your brain out. And I'm gonna put it in a newspaper and I'm gonna smash it against a window."
Mike Tyson à Hornswoggle.


Ted DiBiase: "My movie, the Marine II, is superior to the original Marine."
Cody Rhodes: "Ted, my fifth grade graduation video is superior to the original Marine."


"I'm on Raw, you're on Smackdown... Long distance relationships don't work, Chris."
Big Show


Jerry Lawler, après une promo de Maryse où elle a qualifié Melina de "petite poupée": "Did she just say poupée? Do you know what that means in French?"
Michael Cole: "What?"
Jerry Lawler: "I... I can't say it!"


"I respect her. There are a lot of things that she does that I couldn't do, being the size that she is."
Michelle McCool à propos de Mickie James.


"We have MVP on the stage, and PMS in the ring."
Goldust, à propos des divas assemblées dans le ring pendant les Slammy Awards 2009.


"It was kind of like the 300 at the battle of Thermopylae, but with better abs".
John Morrison à propos de la fin de son match à Survivor Series, quand il s'est retrouvé à 1 contre 3.


"Hi, I'm John Morrison, and one time I drove my Lexus 700 miles on a tank full of my own urine."
John Morrison


"I always said if I could put my brain in Andrew’s body he’d be a 20-time world champ."
Edge à propos de Andrew "Test" Martin